Reflecting on our children...

"Children are not born into the same family as their brothers and sisters because the family shifts with each new arrival."

This quote was in a book I recently read, and it struck me so much that I had to write it down so I could contemplate it further. And as I've reflected on the quote over the last few days, I've decided that I both agree and disagree with it - if that's possible. I disagree because, obviously, each of our children WAS born into the same biological family, with Mark as their father and me as their mother. And they were raised in that same family, by the same two parents who diligently tried to apply the same, consistent child-rearing techniques to each of the children. Having said that, however, I do agree with the quote, in that the family dynamics definitely shift with each new addition, and that must play a part in how the kids "turn out." So I've been thinking about what our family was like as each child joined it.

Sarah: Oh, the wonder of it all. She was the first, and therefore played the part of "guinea pig," and did it quite well. Mark and I were inexperienced and nervous, and couldn't quite believe that, following her birth, the hospital actually allowed us to leave with Sarah in our car. Because she was the only child at that time, she commanded all our attention, which we were only too happy to give her. Once she was sitting up, we would put her high chair between us at meals and just watch her make cute little faces and try to learn to manage a spoon. Everything she did was both new and newsworthy. And at each stage of her growing-up years, she blazed the trail that her siblings followed. She has such a generous nature, such a big heart. She was, and remains, such a joy to OUR hearts.
When Jake was born nearly two years later, we felt like real veteran parents, and SO ready to handle a second child. Lo, and behold, the Lord gave us a son! (Remember, this was the time before routine untrasounds, and we never knew what gender our kids were before their birth.) Yikes - a whole new kind of kid! What were baby boys like? We soon found that Jake was far different from Sarah, and not just because he was all boy. His temperament, his personality - all uniquely his own. He was artistic from the get-go, and always strove for excellence in all he did - and he's still that way.
Several years later, Ben came on the scene. A new learning curve. With two children, Mark and I could each "take one" when we went places as a family. Suddenly there were three... hmmm... an extra... who will take him? :-) Obviously we managed, and I think with Ben's birth we really realized that being a family was about more than numbers, but was about helping each other out, caring for each other, and being a UNIT, regardless of how large that unit was. Ben was always eager to try new things, make things, explore things. And he had such a tender heart toward animals, whether it was our cat, bunny rabbit, or dog.
And then came David. Such an easy baby, just fitting in without fuss or bother. And while each baby born to us was such an amazing blessing from God, we felt extra blessed when Dave turned out to be such a "go with the flow" sort of guy. I think he's still that way today. He had such a way of making us laugh. Everyone wanted to be around David, to hold him, hug him, pull him in the wagon or push him in the stroller. As long as he had his blankie and his thumb, he was good to go. He just loved hanging with the family, and that remains important to him today.
And finally, our Hannah. People have asked us over the years how we knew our family was complete after Hannah's birth, and the only answer we can give is that we just knew. Both Mark and I felt certain peace about it. Hannah was (and still is) such a sweet, kind girl, and our hearts just overflowed with joy when she joined our family. Sarah was so happy to have a sister (Sarah was the first person we called from the hospital with the news that the new baby was a girl). Hannah easily found a place in our family, eager to try to keep up with all the others, and to distinguish herself as a remarkable individual, too.
Psalm 139: 13-14 says, "For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well." We are eternally thankful to God for each of our children, each one knit together by Him, and lovingly placed in our family. Yes, our family grew and changed with each addition, but we wouldn't have wanted it any other way.